some photos to upload / ANgie Trevizo Christopher (Angel Friend )Read >>
some photos to upload / ANgie Trevizo Christopher (Angel Friend )
file:///C:/Documents%20and%20Settings/Administrator/My%20Documents/My%20Pictures/jimmmy/jimmy%20fishing.jpg
Ok, Snappahead, where ya at? / Katie (Sister)Read >>
Ok, Snappahead, where ya at? / Katie (Sister)
Well where are you? Surely you didnt think you could just up and leave all of this to me!!!!! I'm old Jim, I dont have the patients or understanding that you have. He doesnt want to be here, you know? He wants to be in Costa Rica, where he lives in his fantasy world, and they think he is a King. He is so confussed, and gets so aggrivated with me for not believing that is where we are. He's squandered everything, there on strangers, but I guess it has made him happy. Do you think he will ever be back to being the man/person he once was? I dont see it. I know you must visit with him at night, to help he through, thank you. Funny, dont you think? That he is here in my house, living....... I mean of all the people in the whole world, it has been left to me to care for him. Not just simple care either... feeding, both orally and through a tube in his stomache, bathing, dressing, shaving, cleaning up after. I find it rather ironic, the child he never wanted to see again. I have learned it is all apart of the journey. If he leaves here tomorrow, on his own free will or that he is called to the next realm, he finally must know "I Love Him", and it's ok if he doesnt return it, I know for me and my well being, I have been the best daughter to him I could be. I will continue to do what I can, with the help of your WONDERFUL brother in law, who truly does love each of us with all his heart... there's no other way he could tollerate ALL that he does, from the Gaudreau's. I will listen closely and look carefully for some advise from you, I could use some, I have so many decesions to make, and only want them to be right. I Love You Snappa, your one of the best! Help me to not feel quilty for the decesions I may be forced to make. Bigger than the SKY!
Trails and Tribulation / Katie (Sister)
Somedays I feel so very selfish, for I so want you to come back here to this earth and help with all the trials and tribulations that are a part of my life. It's only for a moment and truly only my own selfish needs. For I am happy for you that you travel a new realm, free of the burdens of mortal life. I know I make it sound like life is shitty, and really it is not. I know you see and promote alot of the good that happens in my life, and to you I am grateful once again. My life with Jon is all I could of ever dreamed of or asked for, he really is one of the very best. The opportunity and journey, that Kevin is about to embark on, it's just remarkable, I know that him coming home is a part of your doing. Crystal, gosh she needs her Uncle Jim, so much right now, the voice of reason that was once there for her. You know I am "just" mom and what I say doesnt hold near the wisdom and value of your converstations. If you could talk to her, like you use to and help her to see her potential, for the wonder kid that she is, it would be greatly appreciated. Chris, is doing alright, hold things down for himself. Dad, well I know he lived a great life, but I still just dont want to see him leave this earth.... funny it took you to move forward for us to beable to connect again in under father and daughter terms, and now he might be leaving soon too. I always told you, should anything happen you deserved what ever there was for all your caring, understanding and tolerance. I try, I really do, try to be that person to him, now that you are not here in mortal form. I know Never in what ever is left of this life time will I ever beable to fill your shoes, your compasion for him is astounding. For you, more for you than anybody in this whole wide world, I will try to do what is best for him, if he allows me. Thanx for the lesson in caring, for teaching, how to be our fathers keeper. I LOVE YOU BIGGER THAN THE SKY! SNAPPA-HEAD! I MISS YOU JUST AS BIG!
thinking of you / Leann Ryans Mom
I know im not here much anymore , but you & your family are always in my heaart & prayers, I pray that all is well with your family I know they miss you so much! Hers a poem i found and wanted to send it... Those who bloom in the hearts of others never fade away thinking of you always a angel moms friend xoxo Close
Another day another night ...having conversations with you as if I've got something important to say to you. Reliving the past in my mind, things I should've said, such wasted time on this but I can't seem to stop living with you, as if you'll call or walk in the door at any minute and we'll pick up right where we left off.
I'm always thought I knew you and now I am wondering who you have become after death. I know you were in my room, I saw you dancing in front of my face, as if just checking in on me in your child-like manner.
I hope you are that way, all the time, innocent happiness, blissfully untouched by anything other than love. You are a sweet spirit in any form my Jimmy. I cannot wait to be with you again even if it takes a lifetime to get there.
Come check-in on me again...just don't wait til I am feeling mad at you to do it. It's ok that I know you are there...or did you already know that.
I've spent every chance reflecting on all my memories that I can drag up, right back to the day we met. So many moments to recall. It's the only thing I want to think about. As I try to push through this life, moment by moment, this year has passed and I haven't had the care or interest to recall and reflect upon it. I guess my heart wasn't in it since it's with you all the days of this life.
So keep Joel's Uncle close, welcome him to your new world.
I miss you more when I try not to. I am trying to be ok...I LOVE YOU JIM!
Hey! It's been a hell of a day. My what a emotional roller coaster ride. First, thanx for the miracle, I dont know what I would do without you. I'm scared Jim, I dont really know if I can do all this all over again so soon. I havent talked to the doctor personally, but they called and Jon talked to them, it doesnt look real good. I know it's only a short matter of time before he follows the path that you have laid. I will never understand this ride called life. You spent so many years loving our father uncontionally, only to leave so suddenly. Now it has been less then a year and there has been so much turmoil without you. He's coming to where you are soon. But I dont understand, your death brought us back together, a peace between us, a understanding. Now in what only seems to be minutes since you have gone, I am about to loose our father. Jim, if he makes it through this no matter the condition, I will do my best in your honor to care for him in the way that he chooses. I know I can NEVER measure up to being the child and care provider you were to him, but I will try. I'm gonna need your help. I am leaving this in your hands, in Gods hands. If you need him to be with you, I will try and understand, I know there is a great love and friendship there, that I will never be able to fill in your passing. I guess you just sorta grow use to your parents being around, and although you know it will probably not last your lifetime, there is no way to prepare. Jim, please go to him as he sleeps, be with him so he is not alone. Take him fishing in his dream, buy him a drink, spend the night. He needs you so much right now, if it to be to show him the light in your realm, or to show him the beauty of the life he has left here. I'm scared Jim, I am just really really scared. I love you baby brother forever and ever, I Love You.
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